As we accelerate towards our first "official" Mosaic Church gathering there is one emotion that keeps trying to push itself to the forefront...FEAR! Of course there are many other strong feelings right now, like excitement and anticipation and relief and hope. But even in the midst of being excited about finally getting started and that sense of anticipation about what God is going to do, there is also a little sense of fear in the back of my mind. Fear...because I haven't spoken in front of a group of people in over 7 months...because there are so many things I want to say on this first gathering, but I don't want to overwhelm...that nobody will show up...that I might blow it...that I might not be creative enough...that I might bore them to death...Fear. One thing that I'm starting to notice as I'm writing this is that I might just have an "I" problem. I've been saying "I" during this whole search of my emotions. I believe God is saying to me that as long as its all about "I" then it won't be about "Me" ("Me" as in referring to God). In my flesh fear desires to take over. But, in Christ, in living His life through me, peace takes over. I have an amazing sense of peace. A peace that goes beyond human understanding. I told my friend Joel last night that this just feels right. Starting Mosaic Church in our house this Saturday night feels right. I'm at peace with that. That is Christ living His life through me. When I allow myself to revert back to my old flesh patterns, fear takes over. It does every time. But when Christ is living in and through me, what do I have to be afraid of? As I was writing, the words to "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God" came to mind:
"Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side, the Man of God’s own choosing: Dost ask who that may be? Christ Jesus, it is He; Lord Sabaoth, His Name, from age to age the same, And He must win the battle."
There really is nothing to fear! "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace." Colossians 3:15
"For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory" Colossians 3:3-4
Duane
1 comment:
Hey Duane,
It's your faithful lazy friend from far away up north.
Yes, again to your fears. From the sounds of your blogs, what you bring to the table is your honesty and integrity. How powerful is that !?!
I was reading through Isaiah today and looking at chapter 66. I really love this book. Verse 2 says, "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.
I was thinking of me (we are all guilty of that) and my position in this process of looking for where to serve in the future but then I thought of you and read through your blog again to find a new post!
(It's kind of freaking me out a bit) I think it's healthy to be fearful of how we do what we do. I can't imagine all the stuff you are going through. My big decisions lately are whether to cook caribou, buffalo or chicken and I'm not loosing much sleep over that. I can hear that you want to serve Him the best way you can and in this new venture, that could be a little hairy.
I don't know you, but I am listening to your heart in your blogs and I hear humility and honesty and a contrite spirit. What else could you approach this task with? Nothing.
Enjoy the peace that comes with serving him and enjoy the rush of ministry! I've always seen ministry as something akin to rappelling or white water rafting. Every time I've done either, I sweat bullets wondering why I am doing what I'm doing...but at the bottom of the rapids or the cliff, it's amazing and I want to climb up and do it again. With Jesus as your climbing partner/instructor, how can you possibly not have a fantastic experience, albeit scary.
Blessings to you brother as you proceed in faith. I hear it in your writings and I'm excited to hear what God will do within this new adventure.
So yes, let the peace of Christ rest in your heart and may this adventure be just that, AN ADVENTURE for you!
...just having a coffee in the snow still ...Pete
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